No Words

I have no words to express the love I have for my son. I remember thinking back to my life even 5 years ago and the memories are not good. I truly never thought in a million years I would EVER be a mother. I just shut the idea out of my head. Even though my first marriage was awful you cant blame a women for wanting a child. I remember pleading with heavenly father in my prayers to please bless me with a baby. I remember every month thinking that I was pregnant and crying when I found out I wasnt. The pain is unbearable. The day I found out I was finally pregnant was a day that forever changed me. Of course I didnt believe the first test or the second, and really who askes the doctor if you can keep the test I took there?, oh yeah that is me I totally did. Meeting Maverick for the first time was overwhelming. I physically felt Heavenly Fathers love surround me and burn in my chest. Having him in my life over the last 19 months is surreal. I love being a mom at Christmas even though he doesnt know whats going on, I do and its wonderful. We made these Santa's today and I had to share it with you. How momish to have him on the fridge hanging by an orange magnet. Im sure this is just the start to many other fridge debuts but I love it!