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Monday, October 15, 2012

Ch Ch Ch Changes....

If any of you know me very well (all 1or 2 of you that read this blog) you know I dont do well with change. I have a very routine life, from the day my babies were born they were on a schedule. Everything revolves around little to no change. Well my life has been changing alot lately, in great ways. I am loving myself in ways I havent in years. I take that back, I dont think I have ever truly loved myself at all. I have had alot of pain in my life, suffering the loss of my first marriage was very hard on me. However with all of the cleansing that is taking place in my life I am realizing that I am worth it, gall darn it! I am worth loving, I am beautiful, I am strong I am loving. I am a child of my Heavenly Father. Man it feels great to type that out and reflect on it.
Anyway, back to changes. Last week my son had to have surgery to remove an extra tooth from the roof of his mouth. First off he is my first and my little love. I was already freaking out at the thought of him being put under for this. Well we went to Cedar city the morning of the surgery, my mom came down from up north (3 hours away to be exact) to help me with Kanon and drive us there and back so I could sit with Maverick in the back. We were there early in the morning, all the paper work filled out and after waiting 2 1/2 hours they took him back. I went back with him, they weighed him took his vitals and said the doc would be in to answer any questions and then they would take him back. Ok no big deal.....well we waited another hour and he finally came in. When I asked him my questions about the recovery his face went blank. He said "umm I dont do that surgery, my partner does.... I think they put you on the wrong day, Im so sorry" Instantly I started to cry, I was feeling bad that my poor baby had to wait all that time, he was hungry cold and scared. Well after alot of crying and talking they were able to get us in two days later. Holy cow thats alot of typing to get to my simple point. Had this happened to me even three months ago it would have totally done me in. I would have been a mess and really angry. And although I did my share of crying and was mad for a few hours, I got myself together and couldnt wait to do my yoga. Yoga is my therapy it is healing me from the inside out. Im so glad I made the choice to do it and stick with it, why you ask? Because I am more than worth it. Im grateful to my friends that have stuck by me and continue to encourage me. Im also happy that I can for once in my life be proud of the mother I am and also wife. I had put them all on the back burner for quite some time being selfish and using my horse as an escape from my life. Im glad I have them, Im glad they love me and boast me up even on days I probably dont deserve it.. Its ok to have an out and need a break from every day life but Im glad I have found that balance

5 comments:

KW

I have learned that balance is key. One of my mottos is look good, feel good. When we take care of ourselves and put a little effort into things we need to do for ourselves we feel better. So glad you are loving yourself!

Claire

I hope everything is going well for you and your Family! We Miss You!!!

Wade The Rascal

You had me at "Ch, ch, ch, CHANGES..."
Anytime you quote Bowie, you're moving in the right direction ;)
Loving the blog and that you're recognizing how much arse you truly do--and can--kick.

things we love...

You are so beautiful both inside and out. I have loved you from the moment i met you! Hope you have a great week.

Carissa Layton
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