Monday, April 2, 2012

Day 4 of the Love Dare

Day 4 Love is thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to
me. . . .How vast is the sum of them! If I
should count them, they would
outnumber the sand.
—Psalm 139:17–1

Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda
other than asking how he or she is doing
and if there is anything you could do for

I had to skip a day (Sun.) so that I could do this Dare while he wasn't home. Kinda hard to call and check on them when they are home for the weekend ;) Anyway, I just got off the phone with him. I asked him if he needed anything and if there was anything I could do to help make his day good, he seemed confused and just said "um no". It warms my heart to have him be shocked when I am offering myself to him in ways that he needs. He seems happy but almost confused. What this process has been teaching me is how extremely selfish I have been. No wonder all of my prayers about my marriage and what I could do to help came back to this Love Dare. I need to change me. I need to think about my spouse and what his needs are. It has also made me ponder the way I have talked to and treated Nephi since we got married. I speak to him like he is a child. Its not something I am proud of admitting out loud. I think its been my cooping mechanism from my first marriage. But it doesn't make it right. This not saying Neg. things has really opened my eyes, I have stopped and thought about the things I would normally do or say if I weren't doing this dare and I am ashamed of myself. Nephi is my best friend, my husband, the father of my kids. Why would I speak to him the way I have??? No wonder he doesn't want to kiss my forehead, Heck I'm surprised he hasn't wanted to smack it. I'm not having a pity party for myself but rather reflecting on what this marriage and Nephi really mean to me. I'm really thankful I am sticking this thing out..


Ashley J. McFarlane

Hey Shawna! I promise I'm not stalking you, I think I found your blog awhile back through Micah and Caitie's :) Anyway, sure hope you don't think I'm strange.. I just wanted to comment and say how cool I think you are for doing the love dare! Vaughn and I love Fireproof, such a great movie. I don't know ya real well but through your writing, I can tell that you're truly an awesome women and so sweet :) I laughed when I read what Nephi answered when you called him, "um, no", I can totally picture him saying that!
Good luck with the dare, I'll have to check back every now and then and see how it's going :)


Ashley, I dont think you are strange at all. In fact Im really glad you commented. I didnt know you had a blog so I will now lovingly stalk you back. I really hope this Love Dare keeps going so well. Having us both come from bad marriages before each other has not helped out our life together. However I love Nephi with my whole being and cant wait to make things that much better. And p.s. there is no such thing as stalking or weird when its family! :)


So proud of you! Marriage is hard, really hard and it takes constant effort. And even though we have been married before we still have challenges. It is hard not to turn into a mother to our husbands as well, but you are doing a great job recognizing what needs to be changed. Love you!


Thanks Kristin it means alot coming from you. And I love you and miss you very much


Keep the posts coming Shawna. I love reading them...and subsequently realizing where I need to change!