Wednesday, April 4, 2012

Day 6 of the Love Dare

Day 6 Love is not irritable

He who is slow to anger is better than
the mighty, and he who rules his spirit,
than he who captures a city.
—Proverbs 16:32

Dare: Choose today to react to tough
circumstances in your marriage in loving
ways instead of with irritation. Begin by
making a list below of areas where you
need to add margin to your schedule.
Then list any wrong motivations that you
need to release from your life.

This is a hard one for me, I am not patient whatsoever and I am quick to snap. Its not a great quality.  I over react when I think I deserve to go somewhere or do something and he doesn't agree right away. Like for some reason I should be able to do what I want because after being a mom and wife all day I just need a break. However instead of expressing that to him, I throw a minor fit and act as if he "owes" it to me or something.
I would say the top of my list would  be I might need to lay off on the things maybe Nephi isn't the best at doing. Like nagging about everyday things I ask him to do (trash,etc.)  Ask him with a sincere heart for something only once and not nag if he doesn't follow through.  At the top of my list for wrong motivations would be overreacting to hurt rather than to solve. Sometimes I get so caught up in why I'm not happy and what he isn't doing for me that I sort of want to punish him so he hurts as well. I don't like to see him enjoy life or be happy if I'm not. After I just typed that I'm totally taken back that I admitted it out loud. Man I'm a real wack job. I need to let that go from my life. I feel like the steps I am taking in this book so far are helping me however. I found myself today almost being sucked into the same fight we have on almost a weekly basis about my best friend and I and what we do with out horses. Nephi is insecure with my friendship, his first wife put everything and everyone before him and sometimes other relationships bring out that insecurity in him. I have never and would never put anyone before him but its hard for him to see that. Anyway normally he gets all fired up and goes off about things and today I just took a deep breath, thought about how hurtful things get if I go along with it and chose not to say anything. I asked him if we could please not do this and changed the subject, and like magic he cooled off. AMAZING. And after all this time of me blaming him I realise I throw fuel on most of his fires. I need to stop that, I need to be slow to anger and show more love. He is crying out for it