Day 4 of the Love Dare

Day 4 Love is thoughtful

How precious also are Your thoughts to
me. . . .How vast is the sum of them! If I
should count them, they would
outnumber the sand.
—Psalm 139:17–1

Dare: Contact your spouse sometime during
the business of the day. Have no agenda
other than asking how he or she is doing
and if there is anything you could do for
them

I had to skip a day (Sun.) so that I could do this Dare while he wasn't home. Kinda hard to call and check on them when they are home for the weekend ;) Anyway, I just got off the phone with him. I asked him if he needed anything and if there was anything I could do to help make his day good, he seemed confused and just said "um no". It warms my heart to have him be shocked when I am offering myself to him in ways that he needs. He seems happy but almost confused. What this process has been teaching me is how extremely selfish I have been. No wonder all of my prayers about my marriage and what I could do to help came back to this Love Dare. I need to change me. I need to think about my spouse and what his needs are. It has also made me ponder the way I have talked to and treated Nephi since we got married. I speak to him like he is a child. Its not something I am proud of admitting out loud. I think its been my cooping mechanism from my first marriage. But it doesn't make it right. This not saying Neg. things has really opened my eyes, I have stopped and thought about the things I would normally do or say if I weren't doing this dare and I am ashamed of myself. Nephi is my best friend, my husband, the father of my kids. Why would I speak to him the way I have??? No wonder he doesn't want to kiss my forehead, Heck I'm surprised he hasn't wanted to smack it. I'm not having a pity party for myself but rather reflecting on what this marriage and Nephi really mean to me. I'm really thankful I am sticking this thing out..