Thursday, March 29, 2012

The Love Dare

So its not a secret how hard marriage can be. Its daily work for the both of you and sometimes it can be down right hard. I feel like my hubby and I have fallen into a place of comfort, where neither of us try anymore. We just live life day in and day out almost like room mates. Don't get me wrong, he is an amazing person, and father. He helps around the house, he provides for us and is an amazing priesthood holder. I couldn't ask for more in those areas. However something happened to us... I miss being kissed on my forehead, I miss holding hands. I miss hugging for long periods of time just because I cant let him go. I miss being told I'm beautiful(without me asking). I know this might sound a little crazy because I know naturally those things dwindle when you stop dating, or do they? Do kids really make that big of a difference, or are we choosing to let them so we don't have to "try" so hard anymore? I'm not sure, but I know that my marriage is WORTH saving, its worth savoring as well. I am sealed to this person and want to make the best of our life together. I have been known to be the one pointing the finger, like if he would just kiss me or hug me I'd be fine. But why does it have to be him? Why cant I make the effort? Maybe he is waiting for me to take the first step. I have no idea that's why I'm starting the Love Dare. Started today actually. I first tried this a couple of years ago when the movie Fireproof came out. If you haven't seen that movie its a must see for married couples. I have since "tried" the Dare on Nephi and failed miserably on it. I cant even get past day one, which is pathetic. Day one says to go 24 hours without saying one neg. thing to your spouse. ARE YOU KIDDING ME??? I cant do that, am I really that mean? (dont ask Nephi that question) Anyway you are supposed to journal about your experience and not just go on with the next dare until you complete them one at a time. Whats really a kick between my eyes is every time I pray about my marriage and ask my father in heaven what I can do to make things right, my answer always comes back to the Love Dare. SO this is the reason for this post. I am choosing to hold myself accountable to this journey by blogging about it. Even if I don't get one comment or one person to read them, I am holding my feet to the fire writing about it. Because my marriage is worth fighting for, my husband is worth doing the dare for. In the end the only person I can "fix" is me. Oh and a little tid bit, the person you are doing the Dare on shouldn't know you are doing it. Which works great for me that Nephi NEVER reads my blog. I'm hoping that this journey takes me to a whole other level of love and commitment. I hope to fall in love all over again with my main man. I have lost one marriage before and I refuse to loose another. Want to join me in this journey?

Which brings me to day one.

Day 1. Love is Patient

The first part of this dare is fairly simple.
Although love is communicated in a
number of ways, our words often reflect
the condition of our heart. For the next
day, resolve to demonstrate patience and
to say nothing negative to your spouse at
all. If the temptation arises, choose not to
say anything. It’s better to hold your
tongue than to say something you’ll
You are supposed to journal about how this went, how you felt and things you could work on.

With this dare I will admit I struggled today. I got my feelings hurt that Nephi wanted to go to a movie all by himself (hunger games, I didn't want to see it). I really wanted and felt like we needed to spend some time together. However I held back my feelings and practised my "patience" and let him go. I know that if I can be slow to anger and be more patient I can get through to him in ways I never knew. I can already see that not putting up a fight to get my way is going to be helpful.


Wade The Rascal

Good luck, Shawnana. You're a good wifey.


I love it Shawna. Yes, I want to join you...if I can make it past day one...

Karlee, Tyson, Erin and Rylee

Okay, I saw Fireproof and thought it was super goofy. I am not religious. But after reading about this dare it really does sound like a good idea if I separate it from that movie. It makes good sense. I love how honest you are being with your journaling and I think you are very brave to actually write this stuff! Good luck with the rest of the dare!