Monday, September 24, 2012

A mind douching...

I know I know the title of this post sounds way off color. Its not what you think, trust me... Or not..
As anyone can tell from looking at this blog Im not the best at following through with things I post\say. Its not like I love that quality\flaw about myself its just been who I have created the past few years of my life.. I have been through alot, too much to want to talk about in this post. This post is to talk about douching my mind. Yes I said that, douching. We all hold things inside, we all have troubles letting go of pain, love, sadness, sorrow, our past, I could go on and on. Our minds become thick with this fog that we ourselves create. We become what we are holding onto, what we are thinking. I have let my muscular dystrophy define my life for the past 20 years. The day I got diagnosed was like someone flipped a switch, I instantly became different. I spent alot of time and still catch myself feeling sorry for myself. I have missed out on alot of things by simply telling myself before I even tried that I couldnt do something. I have let my disease take me over, fill my head with crap..
A few months ago I was reading my friend Kristin's blog and she mentioned how people were encouraging her to do yoga. For the first time ever YOGA stood out to me. It was like the spirit said right to me "thats it". I instantly asked the Google gods about my CMT (Charcot Marie Tooth) and what yoga would do for my disease. The results I found were very encouraging. The very next day I asked my best friend Veronica if she wanted to start doing yoga with me. Thankfully she said yes.
I started my journey the next morning. Beginning with a 20 min video that literally kicked my trash!! I was sweating in places I never knew you could sweat, on my wrist for crying in the night. But something happened, something shifted the crap around in my head and let through a little light of clarity. I was hooked. The next session we ended with a really great meditation. I wont lie when the guy started doing with weird sound I lost my concentration and laughed, however I also cried ALOT during it. I felt as though my mind and body were being cleansed, douched if you will. I got up off the ground and felt new, and was starting to feel whole.
I have been successfully apart of this yoga journey now for just over a month. I have worked myself up to over an hour each day and doing it 6 days a week. My life has been forever changed, including my diet. My muscular dystrophy has been responding in ways I never knew possible. My balance is increasing, my toes are straightening out. Before I started yoga I was going to bed EVERY night taking at least 800mg of Ibprophin just to sleep. My back and legs were always killing me, and I could never sleep. I haven't taken anything for pain in over a month now, why you ask?? Because I have none, I have learned the power of my mind. I have learned to love myself in ways I never knew I could. I have fallen in love with my husband and kids deeper than I knew I could. My body is finally coming back, you know the prebaby one?? And I love it. But the deepest thing to happen in this whole process has been, the douching. The literal letting go of my weakness and sorrow that I have had trapped in my mind for years. I have found this new power in my mind I never knew existed.
I have also deepened my  love for my Savior. I have never felt so close to the spirit as I do when I am meditating at the end of my yoga sessions. I am grateful to my Heavenly Father for his tender mercy and for his patience with me. I love having a rock star partner in this yoga experience, Veronica will never know how much she has lifted me up. It was a rough journey in the beginning with lots of tears. Im grateful for the cleansing of my mind and body that is taking place. This is just the beginning to this life long journey.. Stay tuned....
For those of you who actually read all of this, thanks

This has been on repeat at my house, its the best song for what Ive been changing about myself



Seriously, Shawna, I saw you this morning and could totally tell that you have lost weight. You look great and I'm so glad this is helping you so much :)


Oh yay!! So glad you are doing yoga and it is actually helping. I need to be more consistent with it and I know it can so the same for me!