Can I push pause?

I took Maverick to his first dentist appointment yesterday. It was bitter sweet. I was soooo proud of him and how brave he was, and I was soooo sad that he is growing up so fast. The woman cleaning his teeth said that she can never get kids his age to sit still for cleanings, let alone the x rays she took of him. We were in and out of there in less than an hour. It was great.




The only melt down we had was when he could only pick ONE treasure and not five. lol

Today I laid on the floor and kissed all over this baby. My heart was so full looking into his beautiful eyes and I was overwhelmed with pure love.


I had no idea I could love these boys to the capacity that I do. But they are growing up so fast I wish I could push pause and lay with him on that blanket forever

check it out

Check out the new photos I just did of a beautiful girl and her grandpa's horses. Im just getting that spring fever and am ready to do some pictures. So let me know if you'd like some and what you think of the photos.
Just click on my pic me photography button

A little pick me up

After my poor me post I posted last time I thought it might be time to post something nice, so that you all dont think Im loosing it. I was able to go up north this last weekend and present Korbin with the money I raised for him. I just want to thank everyone who donated. It meant alot to me and the world to them. I went to see Korbin at his house and brought my dog Rambo with me. I think it was just what the doctor ordered. He was so happy to just let Rambo snuggle in his lap, I think he was happier to see the dog than me. Im so proud of Korbin and his strength. He is working hard with his physical therapy and soaking up all of the attention he has gotten.
While I was up north I also got to see my lil sis who I hadnt seen in like nine months. Man I missed her. She is soooooo great. It was her first time meeting Kanon since he was born. It was love at first sight for the both of them. Maverick enjoyed playing the WI with her and chasing her friend Lacie's dog around. It was a nice break to go for a visit and forget about my trials for a moment. I looked at Korbin and thanked my Heavenly Father that my boys are healthy and I dont have to watch them suffer in pain. I am truly blessed it just takes being down in the dumps to see the light some times.

Korbin (the Warrior) and Rambo

Auntie Jess, Korbin's mom getting some snuggles from Kanon


Maverick and his future girlfriend Kaitlyn. She's Korbins sister

He LOVES his auntie Sarah!!!!!

Man I miss her guts, I wish college didnt take so long to finish

Does it hurt when I press here?!

I just need a moment to feel sorry for myself. So Im sorry ahead of time if you thought you were about to read something uplifting or interesting.
I feel like I have been through alot in the past ten years. I was married to a heroin addict for almost five years. I survived day to day moment by moment. I drained my friends by being so needy and always having some kind of drama going on with me. I felt so lost and helpless. However during that time joined the LDS church, against my families wishes and finally felt a glimmer of hope. I ended that marriage and quickly met and married Nephi. We started our family fast and life hasnt stopped since. Nephi has lost his job twice, twice I said since we have been married. It seems as if we are never going to catch a break. Dont get me wrong, I dont look back at my life and not see the blessings, believe me I do. I just feel like we are always being hit down right when we are about to climb out. I was reminded today about how scary things are when I went to WIC. Not even one hour after the doors had opened they were full for the day and couldnt help anyone. And I was one of the ones they couldnt help. And it sucks of course my checks just ran out last month. UGH!!! And also the government is running our of unemployment so having Nephi still on it, which he has been for the last SIX months is really up in the air. Now anyone who is married can understand, I love my husband, I really do. I just dont want to be around him 24/7! I need him to get a job, oh wait he cant! In case you didnt hear, he tore his ACL while trying to be an NBA star in church ball and now has to have surgery. Do you see what Im saying, Im dieing here!
So why is it you ask Im going on and on like this. Well today I was reminded again about how crapy of a friend and person I have become while wallowing in my own crap. I forgot about a hair appointment and scheduled something else at the same time. My friend does my hair and is always very good about getting me in. However I back out over and over, One time I have money to do my hair and another I dont. Its just not who I am, Im tried of who I have become. Im sorry to all of my friends for draining you and not having alot of good things going on to share. However to all of you that I have wasted your time, I am truly thankful for you all. Without you I dont know where I would be. Im making a promise that from this day on I am giving my best effort to be more positive. To not share everything thats going and have everyone feel sorry for me. The only one that can be sorry is me. This post wasnt really for anything accept for me to get it all out of my head. Im sorry if anyone actually read this!
Until next time I will now be going and listening to my son sing "talk dirty to me" by poison so I can smile and remember that life really isnt that bad.

Starting over

Im starting over with my photography blog. I have come a long way since I first made my other one and feel like I needed to spice things up. I took some pics of my sweet boys to start it off, I mean who else would I start with really. (they are just stinkin cute) so if you want go ahead and take a peek, my photography button is on the left under my new photography name "Pic Me Photography"

My cute boys

So I have been sick now for over a week. Maverick has been sick too so the two of us have been butting heads. I havent been very patient with him and he is soooo not with me. I start getting into stinkin thinkin and remember that my two little angels were sent to me from my father in heaven. They are only mine to help bring together his plan for them and be blessed in the process. That line is very hard to remember when you are a sick, tired, and frustrated mom. I think its safe to say we all get that way from time to time. So today while Im remembering why I love being a mom I got together some pictures of my two monsters. Everyone keeps saying how much alike they look. My friend Wade put it in a very funny way, he said "they look like they were twins in Heaven and one got sent down before the other." Now since I am the mom and see them every day and know their personalities I dont see it that way. However when I put these little collages together Im starting to see what everyone is saying. They are almost exactly the same age in every picture. So see for yourself.



And this handsome guy is our newest family addition, Wiley. He is a Weimaraner, we rescued him from a very bad place. The people who owned him before paid 1200 bucks for him and we got him for FREE. SCORE.


He is the sweetest thing ever and loves being with us. He even does tricks for Maverick. He will sit,shake and lay down for him. Its great